I'm...

I'm very happyAnd i love taniathats all i need to say:)

i gue...

i guess im a fuckin shithead, most of what i say upsets tania, even though everything ive ever said has never been meant to upset her. she allways wants ta stop talking to me so quickly. and she never tells me what upset her or why, for the past 4 months ive been overly depressed, i mean when i can tell she fuckin loves me im happy as hell..but it doesnt allways seem like she does. maybe its just me..ive had a fucked up life when it comes to girl friends or love..so im just more worried about the things i should know i dont have to worry about.ive never even been in love but with holly and tania.but holly was me just thinking shes fucking great.but.i allways thought id go from girl friend to girl friend untill i met her..and like really knew her. .when she told me the truth about herself. and i honestly feel like im gonna spend my life with her and be completely happy with her the whole time....yes i know i allways talk about her, but thats my fault..because of all the accidents ive been in, im kinda unable to do stuff right now..plus i dont live near jumps..or motocross tracks er any shit like that. but i also talk about her because i love her, and i talk to her like 10 hours a day. but no matter what she'll ever think..i allways tell her the truth..i never hide anything anymore....and if i make a fucking promise im gonna fuckin keep it..because of course i want her to be happy, and yes i love her. i say i love her alot....u kno why, because she got really upset with me and told me she had reason to believe i dont love her cause i never said it as much at all..so i started sayin it more. . now i just thinks shes so used to it that its like me sayin wot, but wether i say it alot or not, i love her more then any thing in my entire life:)...no matter what happend before.i do.....she is my baby.Well!, with that said...im turning into a daddie..its complicated. .kids just kick ass man.i bet u can guess what im gonna say.mhm...its a tinkermhmi love tania<3god ima fuckin dork.

Im an asshole

My lifes allways been complicated. everyone ive ever loved has turned on me or left..and i feel like thats what tanias doing. she has reason to..ive been to caught up in being worried and jealous. im not good enough for her at all..all ive ever done is upset her and make her and jesse fight. i havent lied to her for months, but ive done more then enough to make her leave. i dont want her to, but if itll make her happier. .she should. shes the only girl i can ever imagine myself loving or being with because ive been in love with her for months..and ive only gotten deeper and deeper into it. but im to worried about everything..and everytime i do wrong i change myself to make her happier with me, but it hasnt changed. i dont even know what to do. i allways ask her whats wrong and what she wants, but she never tells me.. i never do anything right and i hate myself for it. ive never had the chance to fix anything.. its allways gone before i can...which is why im so worried, we've made all these plans..and told each other how much we love one another, but the way she acts..makes it all so hard to believe. i really just want her to act more serious about us sometimes, and tell me what she wants...and whats bothering her..and what shes thinking about when it comes to us, i wanna make her as happy as possible..but i never can if she wont talk to me. i understand that shes very close with her friends and i dont care anymore..i understand that she wants to wait for us to be together..i understand everythings shes told me..and either way ill sit here and wait for the rest of my life for her, because i know that no matter how bad we fight we'll allways be more then perfect moments later, and that ill never love her any less then i do now, but i also know that i wont let us fight, because im sick of fighting with her, im sick of her being unhappy, and im sick of being an asshole. im not like this in person, but shes so far away. i cant touch her, or talk to her face to face. all i can do is trust her and be a better person untill shes with me. i wish things could be like they were before..but without the lieing and hiding things. i just want me and her to be happy.we're happy now i guess. but we dont act as loving as we used to.jesse, im sorry about making you and tania fight, the only reason i said i hated you was because all of what happend, your funny as hell and a good person to be friends with. i almost ruined what you and tania have, and im sorry. i really dont care if u hate me or not..i just wanted to apoligize.thats about it....I love you Tania.